Facing Fear

Facing fear in the face, that’s my life. When you have a disability, you have to face fear head-on every day, wondering what the day ahead will bring. 

  • Is my body going to feel well enough to get out of bed today? 
  • Is it going to take the whole morning to get ready? 
  • Am I going to be put together the right way when going out? 
  • Are my clothes going to be on the right way? 
  • Is my hair going to be fixed right? 
  • Am I even going to make it through the day? 

So yes, when you have cerebral palsy, you struggle with the simple things in life, the things that able-body people take for granted. I will never wish I didn’t have cerebral palsy because it’s a part of me, but I want people to know (us and others) that we are more than what you see at first glance. 

It has been hard for me to look at myself and accept who I am with cerebral palsy.  I did not take control of accepting my cerebral palsy for a long time; by doing this, I limited myself for a big chunk of my life. I learned that if you don’t take charge of every part of yourself, you are only destroying yourself in life. When I realized this, I began to see myself as the capable person I set my mind to be.

There have been many road bumps in life. One of the hardest for me to face day to day is people’s ignorance. I have met so many obstacles in life and most likely will continue to face these barriers, but the worst are those of ignorant people. Growing up most children went to school to learn reading, writing, and arithmetic. While I learned all this, I also took a course on how ignorant people can be. When you are a child, as much as it’s wrong, you expect to be bullied by other children because it is a part of life. Yes, I was bullied by other children, but I also was a strong child and just had that fighter in me to fight back. The hardest part was the bullying by the teachers themselves. 

For the most part, I enjoyed going to school, but it was hard facing the ignorant people I had to every day. You would expect this ignorance to be from my peers, and yes, I did come across that. You just never expect to be bullied by the educator.

Nowadays, I find it hard to face the day-to-day because I’m the independent person I always wanted to be, but now I’m in the driver’s seat. I have to use my six legs to face the fear or else risk feeling like a failure in life.

I know that I will never fail because I did my best and tried. But, as much as I recently embrace cerebral palsy, I still struggle every day with the fact that cerebral palsy is a part of me. Embracing cerebral palsy was the most significant step for me facing my fears. I may be relatively new to welcoming the part of me that I always resented.

Published by sixlegstoindependentlifefromawalker

Hi I'm Marie W.O.W.O.C.P ( Work Out With Cerebral Palsy) Just an average person living with six legs. Two on me and four on my walker. I live a full independent life with cerebral palsy. These are life stories and events about how I overcame everyday life with cerebral palsy. I hope by sharing my life story and lessons I have learned I can help others in the world to show them that disability is only a word. Just because our body may not be capable of everything we want to do but with a positive outlook on life we can still get where we want and need to be.

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