Summer of 2021 is coming to an end. I had a great summer. One of the things I worked very hard on was my weight. I started at the end of May. Now, it’s the end of September, and I am down almost 15lb. I have been walking just about every day; I also have been eating fewer carbohydrates. I have been doing very well all summer. Lately, however, I have fallen off track. I have not gained weight, but I have not lost weight. I am getting scared because I know I’ve been doing well. It has started to help me move around better, and some weight loss is a significant gain for cerebral palsy.
As any person with cerebral palsy knows, the less weight you have, the more mobile you are or, the easier it is for someone to help you move around. There are two kinds of people with cerebral palsy who gain weight very quickly and those who have trouble gaining weight because they use so much energy to move around. As any person with cerebral palsy knows, we use three to five times more energy to do a routine task such as getting ourselves ready in the morning. However, I’m not one of them that can burn that much energy to keep the weight off.
Keeping my weight off is not easy because I love to eat. I use food for comfort and loneliness, which is not a good thing to do. (I can’t even sit in front of a bag of chips without eating the whole bag, this is a downfall of mine overeating) I’ve been in so many weight loss groups. I know I can do it because I have many times over. I can be on a good track for a while, but then life happens, and I get sidetracked; this is one of many things I dislike about myself.
Over the last few months, I have been on a soundtrack about eating better and not overeating. It has been easy to do this because of the lovely summer weather and the excellent fresh summer foods. I’m able to walk more and keep a positive outlook on life. I thrive in the spring and summer seasons because I love to enjoy the outside weather—unfortunately, the summer is coming to an end. By November, the weather gets colder, and the sun goes down earlier. The cold starts to settle in; life gets lonely for the next six months. Food is my comfort and not healthy foods. The more carbs that I can have more my loneliness goes away.
My most significant time of getting lonely is the winter. With the little bit of weight I lost, how much easier it is for me to be more independent throughout my day. There are many things on my weight loss journey that make me nervous. One of the biggest things that I need to learn is not to rush through chapters in my story. Running through my chapters in life, I believe, is partly who I am and partly who I am because of cerebral palsy. In a previous blog that I wrote how I felt that my fear about my cerebral palsy held me back but, I know it is only my mind holding me back when It comes to my cerebral palsy. It’s also like that when it comes to my weight loss journey.
Having your mind holding you back is a terrifying thing. When your mind holds you back, you lose out on so much in life. I have felt this so many times in life from being afraid of who I’m with cerebral palsy.
I spent the last year reflecting on my life. Holding myself back because of n being afraid of who I was because cerebral palsy has affected many parts of life. Food has always been a comfort for me. I don’t want this for my life anymore. I want to bring my positive in me when it comes to food. If I can put more positive in my food choices, maybe I can start positive in other places in life.
There are many things that I always wanted to force on, but my obsession with not accepting who I was with cerebral palsy led me to forget that I’m also a person. Now that I’m secure in who I am with my cerebral palsy.
- For me, my weight loss journey goes along with my self-discovering journey.
- Now that I feel healthy mentally and physically, I can get through anything in life.
My weight loss journey is just one chapter in the journey of my life. I will never stop working on this chapter. Now and then, I need to reread this chapter because I want to stay independent in life. There are many that ways will keep me independent. Keeping myself at a healthy weight is just one.