Music is the sound of silence in a room full of noise. Music is a friend when you need a friend. Music isn’t a movement that makes sense. Music can help you make it through any challenging, sad, lonely, joyful times in life. Music can make your heart light and heavy. Having cerebral palsy music is the constant friend that I can lean on when no one is around.
Not only does the community have a hard time seeing past disabilities, but at some point in the life of a person with a disability, they will have trouble seeing past their disability. As people with a disability, we fight so much for others to see past the disability. We focus on making people see past the disability and forget that we are more than the disability. I have forgotten I’m more than cp in the last few years because I wanted to see what cp was like as an adult. As a kid, I was in the back seat as my parents were in the driver’s seat doing so much to advocate for me, but I needed to support myself as a competent adult. I ran from my cp for so long that I needed to devote myself to knowing what cp would be like as an adult.
When you devote your life to something, you forget about other parts of yourself. I feel like this part of my life is over. At the beginning of this chapter of my life, both sides of me were two separate parts of life; it was more that I wanted to intertwine these two sides of me. There was who I was; then there was the cp side. I was never sure if I wanted the two sides to be one because I saw my cp as my weakness. Once I devoted this period of my life to getting to know my cp. I learned the cp wasn’t my weakness but my strength. That was when I felt comfortable making these two sides become one.
Now, who is Marie W.O.W.C.P. without the W.O.W.C.P.? I’m Marie, (I am) an average person that likes to do average things. One of the things I lost when trying to find who I was as an adult with CP was my passion for music. When I was born, my mom said they had put music next to me in the incubator crib from day one of my life. Music has been the one friend that has always been a comfort, and it’s a friend that I can turn to get my mind off of the cp.
The frustration of having limitations because of my cp has always been my source of anger and depression. Throughout life, music always has been the getaway of the pain, depression, and frustration that comes when you live with a disability that gives you limitations. The music comforts me when I’m down and pumps me up when I need a pep in my step.
Music, for me, is like a drug I can’t get enough of, like a bird to a birdfeeder. Music, for me, goes much deeper than the lyrics or even the meaning. It’s one thing that makes me feel free in a way that I can’t feel free. I think the rhythm throughout my body. When my cp is out of whack, I can pump the music in my ears, and the cp starts to relax. I’m not sure why this happens, but I can’t explain its power over the cp. When my cp goes out of whack, it craves a specific genre of music. When my body is out of whack because of anger, my body craves punk rock such as Blink 182, Nirvana, Collective Soul; when my body feels mellow, I go to contemporary such as Matchbox20, Andy Grammer, Jason Marz. I can feel the music from big bands to jazz, from rap to country. Finally, R&B and the ’90s gave me the energy. When I go to a concert or somewhere with loud music, I feel like I’m in a pool swimming freely to the point my body is not affected by the cp.
Another aspect of music I’m interested in is how the pieces are together. The skills and the talent that goes through all this is something always that fascinated me. Growing up, I struggled a lot in school because I had so many learning disabilities; I just learned what I needed to get by in life and never really had me explore other things.
My dream was to be a DJ. When I started college, being a DJ, you needed steady hand skills, unlike nowadays where it is more digitally. My dream of being a DJ didn’t come true; however, my passion for music still gets more profound love. I study and read about music as much as I can. I love the side of music: how people put the music together, what goes behind the song, how the song comes about. I’m not sure why I’m so drawn to this site, but I find it so interesting.
When I realized my dream of being a DJ wasn’t going to become a reality. Music again to on a new meaning to me, and I started to study it on my own. I will read books about what made artists appear in the music industry and how they came about being in music. Not only do I read about the artists and the music industry, but I also enjoy reading about what music does to the brain.
I am fascinated by how the brain works because of my cp and its power on the body. I don’t like taking medicine if I don’t have to. I can get by just listening to music for the pain to go away; I find that music is not only influential on me as a person but is also influential on my disability