I never thought I would be in control of my own life in all my life. As a person with cp, we can only dream that we can do half the stuff we hope to do in life. There are times in life where days can feel so challenging that we feel like we take one giant step forward, then the next day, we feel like we take ten steps back.
When I was in my 20’s, and everyone was starting their life, finding their career, and starting a family, I still felt like I was 15 emotionally. There are many parts of life with cp that are taboo talking subjects, and I believe there is an emotional immaturity about a person with CP. When you use the phrase emotional immaturity when talking about cp, it sounds like we have some mental disability, and that is not it. It’s that when you have cp, you grow up one of two ways. One, your family loves you too much and overprotects you, or two, your family just gives up on you because they don’t want a child with a disability. Either way, they’re always some kind of emotional immaturity.
It took me a long time to realize this when It hit me about my emotional immaturity when I started to take control of my own life but not before I went through a very dark time in life. What I did at that time in life doesn’t have to be shared, but what I want to share is that sometimes disabled or not, you have to tear yourself apart while your loved ones are watching just to put yourself back together again; this is a complex part about life because loved ones want to see you hurt. Then when you have cp, it makes it worse because your loved ones want to do everything for you, but there are just times in anyone’s life that you need to hit bottom.
During my time hitting bottom, I hated everyone around me. I thought people were doing this because they hated me and didn’t want me anymore; looking back on it, years later, I see they did what they because they loved me.
It’s been years since I went through this part, and since that day, I have worked very hard not to fall in that spot again. There are days I just want to give up and not deal with things, but I have come too far to do that to myself and those who love me.
Living with cp is a challenge, but if you are strong enough to see it’s a part of you and not the whole you, you can take control of your life.
When I talk about taking control of yourself, it doesn’t just mean knowing who you are, but it also means knowing your weaknesses and strengths, and you are always daring to walk through life. Weakness shows that you’re human, and your forces can rise above your weakness. Always dare to have the courage to get through the challenges you face every day.