I talk openly about how I felt about having cp during dark periods in my life on my blog. I have gone through the ups and downs that life puts on people with cp. At the end of all of my ups, downs, and depressions, the only one that lost out was me. Yes, there are times when you find yourself in a dark place, but that’s life. Disability or not, humans all find themselves in dark places at different points in life. Just because I was in a dark place about my cp many times in my life doesn’t mean I won’t be there again about the CP or something else. As much as I hope I won’t be in a dark place again, it’s life, and I will. The real challenge is how to find my way out and build myself stronger.
Being in a dark place or depression, whatever you won’t call it, is the easy part; teaching yourself how to find your way back out and rise above it is the most challenging part of what I have learned in life. In every season of your life, there will be stressful, bad, tough times, and more. It’s the power you give yourself to overcome these times. I have learned people can stand by you, but the only one that can help you find your way back is you,
How do you fight your way back? Finding your way back is the hardest to do is an understatement; I can tell you what I did. Every person has to learn what works for them. I can only listen to a person and share my experiences: it may work for you, it may not. I believe my place as a mentor is to support the person I’m helping but let them do what feels comfortable for them and hope they will do the right thing for them: this is what it means to be a mentor to me. I have learned in life that you can lead a person to the path you think will work for them, but they have to want to take it. If they’re going to walk it, it can only be their choice.
The most challenging thing for the loved ones is to let the person go through what they have to do, and the only thing the loved one can do is hope they will do what is right for them. Having been in both places in life, needing to change, and watching others need to change is not easy on either side.
Watching a loved one needing to change makes you feel helpless. But going through it yourself is a challenge because you need to choose whether you want to make yourself a better person or keep doing what you were doing; this is a question only you can answer once you choose the path you want to travel that when you start to see the light from the darkness. Stay out of the dark is an everyday challenge for everyone, but this is not only having the right professional help and building something. I like to call it your mental toolbox ( Please read to understand the mental box NEVER GIVE UP.)
The other after a friend read this, she asked me, “ How do I not end up in a dark place again with the challenges that life puts in front of me.” It will always be a challenge for me or anyone to stay out of a dark place. If you find yourself in a dark area because of life now and then, remember to use the mental toolbox. Each time I fall into a dark place, I add to the toolbox because I learn needed skills to make it through the dark times so I can see the light again.