Have you ever written or thought about writing a letter to yourself? If so, what was or would it be about? Here is what I told myself.

Dear Self,

The people, places, and things you met, gone, and done might not have been what you wanted or hoped for, but the challenges have made you stronger than ever imagined. 

In the last two years, things have been different. The world has been closed off, but that didn’t stop you. Perhaps it made you open up to be the best version of who you are today. You have taken a life you spent years dreaming about and made it more than you could have guessed. When you feel you could not overcome challenges in life, you surprise yourself. You become not only the boss of yourself but also the boss of others. You have let go of the fears of wondering if you will make it in life. You are open to new adventures. You work through your past challenges to have the strength for whatever comes your way.

Life only stops when you stop. I can remember times in my past when life was more challenging than you wanted, and you fell into black holes. I thought there were times that you would never come back up. I will never say there won’t be times that you will ever find the blacks hole again because you will, but just know you have the strength to find your way out. 

There was one thing in life you wanted, I know. Yes, I know you wanted to have a family. A husband and children, but you decided to take another path. You knew it would be too much to take care of children and take care of the cp at the same time. However, when you were hiding within yourself, running away from yourself to hide your heartache, your life started to get complicated. You understood it was your choice to put your cp first, but at the same time, there is a part of you that will always have a broken heart but feel it was the best choice for you.

I know you have been looking at your past and thinking about what would happen if you had taken this or that path, but If you continue to do that, you won’t be able to go forward. You need to keep going forward to add to your story because it has always been one of overcoming challenges while turning them into the straight you need to move forward in life. 

Years ago, you turned to social media to understand what it was like to have cp as an adult and how other adults live with cp. While doing this, the cp community saw you as the brave one at times and looked up to you, but they weren’t unaware that you didn’t know what you were doing. In the end, it was the cp community that helped you grow to be comfortable. You learned that just because we have the wrapping of cp doesn’t mean we can’t be our own person.

There were times the cp community challenged you to the point you wanted to go back into that black hole and never come out again. You felt at times you were getting picked on, made fun of, bullied, and Judged more than you ever did in an able-bodied world. At least it felt like that because you were dealing with others who knew what it was like being someone with that same wrapping you have but only had the same wrapping under the wrapping was the biggest thing that made you different and that you the gift underneath the wrapping. What was underneath is the most beautiful thing no one else will ever have, but it’s the hardest thing to see most of all was for yourself. Now that you have unwrapped your wrapping, life can start a new chapter with challenges to overcome. You may have black holes to roll over and don’t be afraid to fall in them because you know how to climb back out. If you don’t have the tools, you are resourceful and will build them to get your way out.

You have been through so much in your life in many ways that none will ever understand, yet you are still here standing and fighting a meaningful life. You have made changes in life that, at times, you didn’t know weren’t just for you but for the disabled people that came after you. 

In the future, I can only hope you continue to make the same legacy you left in the past away. You are proud. After all, no matter how many challenges come your way from here on in, you can do it because you have before and do it again.

Published by sixlegstoindependentlifefromawalker

Hi I'm Marie W.O.W.O.C.P ( Work Out With Cerebral Palsy) Just an average person living with six legs. Two on me and four on my walker. I live a full independent life with cerebral palsy. These are life stories and events about how I overcame everyday life with cerebral palsy. I hope by sharing my life story and lessons I have learned I can help others in the world to show them that disability is only a word. Just because our body may not be capable of everything we want to do but with a positive outlook on life we can still get where we want and need to be.

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